Be nice

It’s that time of year when Santa starts making his list and finds out if ‘you’ve been naughty or nice’.

Dang, we need much more ‘nice’. Not only in our public discourse, yeah I’m thinking about the past election, but among people who we thought were friends.

I recently learned about a young woman who has been ghosted by her peers. The ‘why’ for the ghosting doesn’t really matter. At their young age nothing is so egregious that someone once considered a friend should be treated that way. The fact that she’s been dumped by those who were her pals until recently is nasty. While we call it ghosting nowadays, ostracizing or shunning has been going on for centuries. The threat of being cut out was a powerful tool to keep people in line. But it’s easier, more all-encompassing now thanks to social media. And it’s not just something that happens among friends. It can also happen in the workplace.

The effect on the victim is that their self-esteem takes a hit, feelings of control are diminished. It can impact their overall wellbeing.

So what can you do if you’re the person left out in the cold. Mental health experts suggest - become decisive in little ways. Take steps apart from the group that are empowering. Bond with others, even if your trust has been undermined. And if you’re part of the ghosting group, keep in mind that this is an act of aggression, of bullying. Is that really how you want to be perceived?

I found a good article on this you might want to check out .. The Silence of Shunning: A Conversation With Kipling William | Psychology Today

All this brings me back to the beginning - can’t we all try to be a little nicer. Sure would help Santa with his list.