Living in an actor’s house

It’s been years since I lived in a congregate setting. But that’s what I’m doing this September-October.

I’ve wanted to be cast ‘out of town’ for a very long time but when I was working news fulltime that wasn’t possible. But since I’ve launched my own coaching business, I’m my own boss so here I am .. In W. Springfield MA appearing at the Majestic Theater. I’m reprising my role a Mrs. Subert in SHEAR MADNESS. Two performers from my prior appearance in ‘the salon’ at the Lake George Dinner Theater are also in the show and we three share a house. It’s like the old sitcom Two’s Company - 2 ladies, one guy. It’s fun and challenging. One of us is vegetarian, another (me) pescatarian and the fellow will eat anything. Our fridge looks like the produce section at the local BIG Y. I’ve been cooking a few nights a week and that’s got me expanding my vegetarian repertoire. Now that the show has opened and rehearsals are done we’re going to settle into a routine, at least I think so. I have managed to explore the area a bit and found a number of local parks, trails and Springfield. Yes, finding personal time is the biggest challenge. One thing’s for sure, I am managing with far fewer clothing options than I have at home.

show headshot 

Backstage with lovely opening night flowers from former co-anchor Jim Kambrich and his wife, Sue

Check out my podcast with one of the stars from “SIX” the musical recently at Proctors

Celebrating 5 years of co hosting the podcast Everything Theater with Ellen Cribbs .. it’s always fun!

New year, new you … or you at your best

Many people make resolutions to improve their lot when a new year rolls around. Ok. Why not? But it turns out there’s a way to do that, that will yield better results, or at least results!

While there’s not much research into resolutions a new study looks at the language we use when making them. Turns out a resolution that aims to LIMIT or ELIMINATE something is less likely to succeed than a resolution that takes a proactive approach. So, rather than say I WON’T snack at night you’re better off planning what you will do! I will go to bed a half an our earlier . .I will have a cup of tea .. you get the idea.

And it helps to have someone supporting your efforts. Supporting .not up in your face all the time. The study shows that the ‘intermediate’ support is most productive. Yeah, yeah, that means a health coach like me can be of value .. but not everyone makes that choice. Just find the person who can be in your corner. That also ties into research into happiness. Having one person who ‘gets’ us helps boost our happiness.

Here’s to a great 2024! I’ll be posting suggestions, hints and the like both her and on my FB page, BYOURBEST .. so check it out .. just maybe it’ll be the support you’re looking for to make this your best year yet!

When dreams come true

Ever had a dream but felt it was out of reach or that time was running our or had run out? Well, don’t give up!

It’s been about 20 years since I saw a show in Boston, SHEAR MADNESS. It’s a bit of a madcap murder mystery and I was enthralled. I told my husband, I’ve got to be in that show one day. Then in 2020 I was going to audition for a production of it in Lake George at the Lake George Dinner theater and bam, the pandemic hit and shut down the theater, all theater.

But 2023 is a different scene and once again the theater was auditioning and now, no longer tied to 9-5 or in my case 10-6:30 at WNYT I booked an audition and landed the role .. okay, not the role I initially wanted to play but time aged me out of that and into another role that’s simply delicious! So 2 things learned .. patience and adaptability.

Rehearsals started in June .. EVERY DAY. So I didn’t book any coaching clients and recorded the classes I would normally teach. We opened the show on July 6 and it wraps up August 26. We perform 7 shows a week. I see clients in the office on Mondays - a no show day- and virtually on Friday’s as we only have an evening performance. Busy? You know it! Worth it?? Darn tootin’!

As Bloody Mary sings in the show SOUTH PACIFIC “

You got to have a dream,
If you don't have a dream,
How you gonna have a dream come true?”

So dream on! Prepare and be ready to adapt … but go for it!!

If you’ve had a dream come true .. please feel free to share!

Scene from Shear Madness - Lake George Dinner Theater

Been a while

So whatcha been doing ..

Who doesn’t go into a new endeavor without good intentions? My intention when I launched this blog was to post weekly. But then my coaching practice got busy, my speech calendar filled, I was cast in a play, I’m working on adding more miles to my run/walk. All good stuff but then I have to figure out how to cram more in. There are books to be read and recipes to try. Yeah, been doing a lot of cooking. I always liked to cook but during the pandemic when the world shut down I ramped it up in the kitchen. I started ‘cooking around the world’ as I describe it, trying recipes from places I’ve yet to visit. I almost NEVER repeat a recipe unless its sooooo very good, like the fish stew we basically lick the bowl as we finish. Basically I said .. please, don’t think we’re barbarians in the house .. however ..

And I’ve been digging into the smooth, natural peanut butter to make a spicey peanut and pumpkin soup and oat and almond milk breakfast bars. Bottom line, if you can can read a recipe you can craft something nourishing and tasty.

Oh I know, you hate to cook. C’mon. What is it you really hate? The clean up? Measuring? Or is it that you fear making a mistake, that the dish isn’t pleasing? So What! No one will sue you and if you don’t try to you’ll never know. If you don’t cook then you’re stuck eating fast / prepared food which is generally higher in calories, fat and salt. That’s not a healthy combo.

So dig out a soup pot. Saute some onions, add a little garlic ( which you can buy in a jar already chopped) .. dice up a couple of carrots, maybe some celery and you’ve got the beginnings of a soup or stew. And to get you started here’s a recent fave of mine. It’s called soup but it’s more like a stew. And next time around I’ll use a little more pepper. Also, plain old brown lentils work just fine.

Let me know what you think … bon appetite!

Instant Pot Lentil Soup {Quick and Easy Prep!} - WellPlated.com

Letting go so delight can come in ..

Most wonderful time of the year … is it?

City sidewalks, busy sidewalks dressed in holiday style. You know the lyrics to Silver Bells. But these days the city sidewalks may not be as bustling as cities still struggle to recover from the pandemic. But one thing that CAN endure is the hope for peace on earth, good will toward (wo)men. Can we at least try that?

Sure, the political vitriol is ever bubbling and at times one wonders how it can get any hotter. But my hope is that we take this holiday season to rethink how we treat others. Are you harboring a grudge, stoking anger, nurturing a hurt, burnishing a jealousy? To what end? The research is clear that all THAT kind of energy is wasted. Moreover it steals your joy. As Elsa, the character in FROZEN sings, LET IT GO. From VeryWellMind.com - “holding on can trap you in a loop of resentment, bitterness, hopelessness, emptiness, or enragement.” So how about you give yourself and others the gift of letting go this ‘season of giving’ and make room for accepting - accepting that some things will never change, that some people are who they are, that you can move on and craft your future.

… And to all a good night ..

Wishing you all a happy and healthy 2023!

Why did we watch THAT

Movies

Have you ever watched a movie that was SO BAD but you kept watching? Turns out there’s psychology behind it. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

The other evening the hubs and I watched A Bad Moms Christmas. It has a great cast: Susan Sarandon, Mila Kunis, Kristen Bell, Kathyrn Hahn, Christine Baranski, Cheryl Hines, Peter Gallagher and Justin Hartley. So what could be so bad? In a word: EVERYTHING. Over the top, silly, time lines that are impossible. Actions that only play out in someone’s head. Oh wait. Yeah, that’s part of the appeal. Who wouldn’t want to steal a Christmas tree from a store in the mall and take it home to spare you the trouble of decorating your own? Or the scene with the moms, now boozed up, posing in ways the mall Santa NEVER imagined. But we kept watching. And we laughed. I think we laughed at the ridiculousness of it. I think we kept watching in HOPES it would get better. But let’s face it, after the first few minutes of a clunker you know it won’t improve. So back to the psychology. Seems film makers KNOW these story lines have an appeal. In scanning the internet for info on this I found an article quoting Doug Walker, creator of online review show “Nostalgia Critic. He says the internet has opened our options. There’s simply so much to view. From Youtube videos to TikTok, we’ll watch pretty much anything. And it’s easy. No trip to the video store required. Producer David Latt theorized that the bar for regular movies has become so low that viewers have developed a nuanced appetite for camp and farce adding, "Sometimes, you just want to check your brain at the door and enjoy." And I have to admit, silly as it was, we did enjoy. We laughed at the nonsense. Didn’t have to think. In short, it was a respite from the world. And, as other movie mavens point out, we keep watching if the cast is good HOPING or EXPECTING it will get better. It didn’t. But there’s the surprise factor we’ve come to rely on that, just maybe, we’ll be surprised at some redeeming factor we didn’t see coming. Would I make a steady diet of watching bad movies? No. But, like the Sharknado movies, and yes, I think they’re a scream. Sometimes this, ahem, entertainment is worth the hour or so investment. Now, if I had to pony up 15 dollars to see this in a movie theater I’d feel ripped off. But with the ubiquitous streaming services, hey, why not? So as the end of year best movie lists come out what movie did you see this year that vies for the WORST? And yes, I’m well aware that Bad Moms dates back to 2017 but hey, there’s no rush to watching the stinkers.

A Sea of Sales

No sooner did election season end then the Black Friday sales, appeared. Is there no rest for the weary?! I had barely caught up with clearing my inbox and cell phone of all the ads for candidates (how did they find me? I’m not registered with ANY political party) but ads for Christmas goods, populated that space. Deck the halls in all these bargains! It would seem EVERYTHING, EVERYWHERE is on sale. Well, not quite. You really need to know the price of the product during the rest of the year to know if the sale this time of year is a bargain.

My eyes glaze over when my inbox pings for the millionth time announcing the best deal of the season on items from nighties to necklaces, slacks to shoes to stoves to storm windows. Okay, maybe not storm windows but you get my drift. And to be clear, NONE of these ads sways me to shop. Nope. I’m not interested in stuff. Granted I don’t have children to buy for, but a dear friend does and has chosen to eschew buying stuff’ that will soon be outgrown or put aside. Instead, she’s investing in adventures, experiences; on travel. In the end, the family is accumulating shared memories, which of course, don’t have an expiration date. You also can’t outgrow the memories and as the years go on, we might just embellish them, making the experience seem even more delightful!

My friend is onto something. Research finds that experiences bring more joy than a closet full of anything. That’s because travel broadens our horizons, helping us to realize that we are not the center of the world. It also helps teach us to be understanding of others. Don’t like leaving home during the holidays? There are countless experiences to be enjoyed in your own backyard: light shows, fairs, exhibits, theatrical performances. As with travel, there’s less clutter with experiential gifts which leads to less stress. Yes, the clutter from too much stuff can be stress inducing. De-clutter queen Marie Kondo made a fortune on helping us ‘make room’. Additionally, all the stuff so many of us collect and then off-load is a burden on the environment. More reasons to be judicious about what we’re buying.

Does this mean I’m fully bah humbug on tangible gifts? Not at all. But I am full throttle on being choosey. Is it necessary? Is it something that will bring joy? These questions form my litmus test for gift buying. Stuff for stuff’s sake IMHO is a waste.

So deck the halls, pour the egg-nog and slice a piece of fruitcake. Embrace the spirit of the season and share it with others. Delight shared is delight amplified.

What are you doing this holiday season? Lots of gifts? Taking a trip? Trip and gifts? Investing in others through charitable work? Something else? Let me know.

Be nice

It’s that time of year when Santa starts making his list and finds out if ‘you’ve been naughty or nice’.

Dang, we need much more ‘nice’. Not only in our public discourse, yeah I’m thinking about the past election, but among people who we thought were friends.

I recently learned about a young woman who has been ghosted by her peers. The ‘why’ for the ghosting doesn’t really matter. At their young age nothing is so egregious that someone once considered a friend should be treated that way. The fact that she’s been dumped by those who were her pals until recently is nasty. While we call it ghosting nowadays, ostracizing or shunning has been going on for centuries. The threat of being cut out was a powerful tool to keep people in line. But it’s easier, more all-encompassing now thanks to social media. And it’s not just something that happens among friends. It can also happen in the workplace.

The effect on the victim is that their self-esteem takes a hit, feelings of control are diminished. It can impact their overall wellbeing.

So what can you do if you’re the person left out in the cold. Mental health experts suggest - become decisive in little ways. Take steps apart from the group that are empowering. Bond with others, even if your trust has been undermined. And if you’re part of the ghosting group, keep in mind that this is an act of aggression, of bullying. Is that really how you want to be perceived?

I found a good article on this you might want to check out .. The Silence of Shunning: A Conversation With Kipling William | Psychology Today

All this brings me back to the beginning - can’t we all try to be a little nicer. Sure would help Santa with his list.

When it’s time

Tiki …

This is a blog post I knew I’d be writing. I hoped it wouldn’t be YET. It’s about one of my dogs. The little one. Tiki. She was small but mighty. In many ways she was a big dog packed into a small dog’s body. She would stand on her two front paws to mark as high on a post as she could. 21 pounds of Chihuahua mix. We always said ‘the world according to Tiki.’

We THINK she was 2 when we adopted her ( a lady never tells) and she lived with us for 12 years. There was no adjustment period. She simply jumped into my car, settled herself in the middle of the back seat and went to sleep. Our other dog, Smokey Joe, was befuddled. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN was what I read on his mug. The point of getting a second dog was to keep Smokey company because he always seemed lonely. Turns out he was just a solo kind of guy and Tiki couldn’t be bothered making friends. Oh, Smokey tried - first by ‘dancing’ with her which she shot down in no uncertain terms, then he took to grooming her.

Tiki liked to run. On the leash with me but also, on her own. Out the door like a flash. All you’d see was her little butt toddling down the street. The only way to get her home was drive to where you’d last seen her and then she’d show up as if you were the UBER she called for.

She also loved finding snacks. Sometimes it was a rabbit in the yard. More often she hovered when I cooked and then hoovered what I’d dropped.

We suspect she lived with a cat before we adopted her because she was always drawn to them and she slept like a cat - her back to the world. Dogs don’t do that, at least no dog I’ve ever lived with.

When Smokey died and Stanley arrived a year later she schooled him quickly. That meant he learned to leave her alone, although he did displace her on the staircase where the sun warmed the carpet every day.

Tiki had a star turn as the dog in Legally Blonde for Saratoga Children’s Theater. And she would spend time with me backstage when I was in a show.

In short, this rescue pup had it good.

Over the past 2 years Tiki started to fail. First some of her teeth needed to be pulled out. Then she had a stomach issue. Then the traveling vet who did the ultrasound to see what was going on in her belly damaged the leg where he put in the IV. And then her vision and hearing started to fail. And then the Lyme disease that had slowed her years earlier really put on the brakes.

She needed help doing most everything. Not the way Tiki lived her life. The drumbeat was a distant sound. Her dignity was diminished.

On election day we knew it was time.

We called a wonderful service - In the Comfort of Home.

By the time the very kind veterinarian arrived Tiki had been sleeping on my husband's lap for an hour. It was the one place she was always happy, always relaxed, always safe. I think she had already started crossing the rainbow bridge; the vet merely helped her finish her journey.

We’re all adjusting to the new normal in the house.

I miss the four paws under my feet as I prepare dinner.

But we’re no longer worried about her. We know she’s fine, feeling good and roaming freely.

What are you saving it for

First .. hello! Welcome to my new website and my first blog post. So it’s only fitting this post is about striking while the iron is hot.

I was going through old paper work and found a couple of gift certificates that had expired. In all I probably wasted more than $300 worth of fun! What was I waiting for? Fun should be embraced as soon as possible. There was a round of golf at lovely course, a meal at a new restaurant, gift cards for ‘Glens Falls Cash’. Like so many of you I delayed delight for another day. We think tomorrow will be more convenient. Why not now? Why not carve out moments to make memories we’ll cherish . .or simply embrace a little ‘me’ time to recharge. Among the expired gift certificates was a gift card for a spa that’s now closed. Trust me, I could have used that massage! And what makes you think you’ll have more time on another day? I’m reminded of this quote .. “Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week.” And the noted humorist Erma Bombeck wrote .. I would have burnt the pink candle that was sculptured like a rose before it melted while being stored. So what’s in your wallet, desk drawer, the glove compartment of your car? Seek out those tickets to fun and cash them in.